Thursday, March 4, 2010

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Make your life a toast for others By Pansy Hamilton Brown: "You would be surprised how much baggage people carry around with them. Especially the kind you cannot see. Half the time it's filled with the past. Looking inside can be the most frightening and important thing a person ever does. — Martha Williamson. An author of a daily prayer booklet referred to a gentleman who at a wedding reception, gave a toast to the groom who was his best friend. In his remarks he gave a short history of the toasting practice at weddings. He said that centuries ago, many of the alcoholic drinks were made through a process that involved lead tubing. As the drink was processed, lead particles could be found in it. The lead could assuredly cause illness and death. As a means of showing care for friends, persons would offer pieces of toasted bread which they would place in the drinks. The bread would absorb the foreign particles. Once they were removed, the drinks would be had without the fear of negative reactions. When this was done at wedding receptions, people would drink confidently and show much gratitude to the one who gives toasted bread. The toasted bread is symbolic of the healing we can be to society. Many persons indeed carry some form of baggage that we are not aware of. There is no doubt that the world would be a better place if we can daily offer a toast to those with whom we relate. We can be the healer to those who are discouraged, those who have lost their self-esteem, and those who have given up on a healthy or improved relationship. To such persons the future seems to be dark and fruitless, but a toast of love can regenerate hope. We can be the toast to rekindle positive expectancy to those who perceive defeat in the struggles of life. There are many who through different experiences, who have particles of lead in their characters. These foreign elements can contribute to hostility, anger and estranged attitude. We can make a positive difference by offering a toast of understanding, goodwill and support. Congenial behavior can be engendered by toasting ourselves through self-talk and then lavishly sharing with those who are hurting. There is no doubt that our lives of toasting can absorb fear and distress in a hostile and perplexed world. The spirit of resentment, indifference, cold and fault-finding behaviors are often due to the poisoning lead of discrimination and prejudice. Grudge must not be cherished, neither must vengeance be meted out to prove our strength or the success of our crafty ploys. We must offer toasts of forgiveness to those who have done us wrong. If we hesitate to do this, we have unconsciously become their slaves. Forgiveness is therapeutic both to the one who has caused an offense and the one that has been offended. If we can abandon indiscretions, self-centeredness and the insensitive conducts of individuals, our intrinsic resilience, patience and overall coping skills can be greatly enhanced. Offer the toast of praise in copious showers and minimize words of revenge and criticism, especially to those who have unspoken burdens. Cast a toast and heal a heart that has been wounded through grief and other roadblocks. The inner light of our compassion can silence the thunder and storms that rage in individuals . Many persons lives are clouded with darkness as they analyze their lives and see the volumes of defect. We should make our lives healing as we offer the toast of compassion. Irrespective of the defects in our characters which bring us to a high or low point in our socialization, we should be in control and determine the path of our lives. We are the only ones who decide our destiny of accomplishments and the quality of the life that we lead. Cast a toast that will help persons to realize that the quality of their lives is a result of the choices that have been made. Expectations that were not met, often overshadow our joys as we accept feelings of gloom. Cast away negative feelings and cast a toast of perseverance and unrelenting endurance. We can climb to the peak of our ambitions as we take others with us. Casting toasts can greatly diminish the stigma of genetic weaknesses or environmental influences that form hurdles in our paths. Faith, courage and hope can absorb the poisonous lead of self-blame and feelings of guilt. Pansy Hamilton Brown can be reached at P.O, Box N-10152. Nassau, Bahamas or pansyhamb@hotmail.com. Wednesday January 3, 2010